can you hear the tension between the trees and the moon?

it's that feeling that you get when you finally understand where you are,
when you realize that you can't relate to someone that you love-
i managed to pull myself up into the blue
and stare back in the darkness that stares out with you.


so much train and bike recently, driving feels weird. as far as i'm concerned driving is a cooperative/social activity, but still, in a car you are encased in your own multi-ton bubble with its own environment and soundtrack. there's nothing wrong with being alone sometimes- i know that better than i should, maybe- but being encased in an automobile is nothing like being on a train or a bike.

trains and subways require something people usually refuse to do- compromise, and enter the personal space of others. somehow, like on the tightly-packed commuter trains in japan, people try to maintain some kind of defeated aloofness in their car of tightly packed humanity. this i don't understand- why, when forced into a small space with multiple other people, would you do your best to ignore them?

"Somehow, the way life works, people usually wind up either in crowded subways and elevators, or in big rooms all by themselves. Everybody should have a big room they can go to and everybody should also ride the crowded subways. Usually people are very tired when they ride on a subway, so they can't sing and dance, but I think if they could sing and dance on a subway, they'd really enjoy it. The kids who spray graffiti all over the subway cars at night have learned how to recycle city space very well. They go back into the subway yards in the middle of the night when the cars are empty and that's when they do their singing and their dancing on the subway. The subways are like palaces at night with all that space just for you. Ghetto space is wrong for America. It's wrong for people who are the same type to go and live together. There shouldn't be any huddling together in the groups with the same food. In America it's got to mix-n- mingle. If I were President, I'd make people mix-n- mingle more. But the thing is America's a free country and I couldn't make them."
- Andy Warhol

i feel similarly about riding my bike, but in a different way- on your bike, you are open to the entirety of the outside world, you're forced into hearing everything around you, you have to actually work to go somewhere- all obvious symbolic importance aside, everyone should ride their bikes more.