somehow, despite being in the relatively liberal midwest, the combination of beer, flesh, and ted nugent brings out some kind of bastard southern-fried rock and roll in even the mildest of suburban businessmen. today, volunteering for ribfest (yeah really) i got treated to some of the cream of humanity. the de riguer shirtless, beer-bellied men with pierced nipples, walking around with camo pants slung way too low. and leather-vested long-ponytailed aging bike gang members holding stacks of beer cups 6 inches high. where do these people come from? a fellow volunteer, jon, gave me a knowing smile, saying "indiana".
truly the most ridiculous performance i've ever seen was ted nugent. there was smoke and beer everywhere. "uncle ted" spent quite a lot of time yelling about vegetarians, the enemy- this being ribfest, celebration of ribs, holiest of holies- and went into a short diatribe that involves him yelling AH LUHV DEAD COWS! DEAD PIGS! DEAD DEERS! and constantly touting the NRA. i was particularly perplexed when he asked if barack obama was in the audience, because uncle ted wanted to teach him how to dance. the crowd went wild. i don't understand. is john mccain a better dancer than obama? i doubt it, uncle ted!
the night ended when ted nugent, in full indian headdress, shot a flaming arrow from an american flag patterned crossbow into a white guitar, screaming that he had to sacrifice the white buffalo.
and i never even got any funnel cake out of it. damn you ted nugent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment